


Pink Eye

by Waldo



Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2005-09-01
Updated: 2005-09-01
Packaged: 2017-10-03 22:02:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 696
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22706
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Waldo/pseuds/Waldo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>John had finally gone to his lab and pulled Rodney's head away from the microscope by the hair at the back of his head. "Briefing. Now." He damn near bit through his tongue trying not to laugh at what he saw.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Pink Eye

**Author's Note:**

> Written for a challenge: use the line "Did they have to paint it pink?" I had to tweak the line just a tiny bit.

  
John was witnessing an object lesson in why it was a good idea to stay on Radek Zalenka's good side.

The briefing started late because Rodney was being most recalcitrant about being pulled away from his research. John had finally gone to his lab and pulled his head away from the microscope by the hair at  
the back of his head. "Briefing. Now."

He damn near bit through his tongue trying not to laugh at what he saw.  He was as pissed as Zelenka was. Rodney had this coming.

So he didn't laugh. He didn't smile. And he sure as hell didn't say anything.

John managed to stay to the left and slightly behind Rodney as they made their way to Elizabeth's office, just in case he slipped and cracked up. It was so hard not to.

He put a finger up to his lips to keep anyone from passing by from giving him up. A few snickered and gave Rodney dirty looks, but Rodney was either used to it or didn't notice. But no one said anything.

As they entered the glass office, John could see the confused and bemused look on the faces of everyone in the control room. But, again, a carefully timed finger to the lips or raised eyebrow kept them silent.

Rodney collapsed into a chair. "Okay, can we do this? I have a microscope with my name on it waiting for me."

John bit his lip. He would not laugh, he would not laugh, he would not laugh.

Carson Beckett's eyebrows shot up at the sight of McKay. John knew the exact moment the doctor decided that he didn't really have to be concerned about McKay's appearance, but instead decided to have fun with him.

"You know, Rodney, if you'd come to me sooner, I could have done something about that before it got so bad."

Rodney glared at him. "Done something about what?"

"You have quite the case of pink eye, lad. Very contagious. You may need a shot of antibiotic. Perhaps several."

"Do you have to use those big-ass elephant needles for a case that advanced?" John put in from his seat across the room.

"Aye. It's the only way to really be sure to wipe out the contagion. A round of six, right in the arse should clean it up nicely." Carson, was having less success than John in keeping a straight face.

"Shots? Pink eye? What the hell?" Rodney reached up to scrub his eyes with his hands. They came back with arcs of pink paint on his fingers. "What the hell?!" He ran over to a flat metal surface that would make a decent mirror in an emergency. And for Rodney, that was exactly what this was.

His eye sockets were pink. Fuscia actually. In exactly the shape of the rubber microscope eyepieces.

John lost it, doubling over. "You look like a punk rock raccoon!" he choked out between giggles.

"I'm gonna kick his ass!" Rodney yelled, racing for the door.

John and Carson both reached for their link; hoping to give Zelenka enough warning to find a sufficient hiding spot. And collect a few weeks worth of rations until so he didn't starve before it was safe to come out.

Once John delivered the warning, Carson mumbled, "His scientists must be pretty pissed."

John nodded. "I'm still pissed. But what I want to know, is did they have to paint it pink? I mean, a nice sky blue would have gone so much better with his eyes. And his uniform."

Carson chuckled.

Sneaking in to the office, knowing the only safe place to be was close to someone who was known to be armed in the shower, Radek Zelenka smiled. "Is a special chemical. Even Kavanagh can be persuaded to be helpful on occasion. Is clear until it is in contact with a surface of more than thirty-degrees centigrade. He could not see it on the microscope. It only turned pink once it was on his skin."

John shook his hand, saying, "Remind me to never piss you off."

Elizabeth dismissed the briefing until every one could focus. And Rodney wasn't quite so colorful.


End file.
